Friday, June 10, 2005

From Behind Enemy Lines

I'm typing this in an attic somewhere in Wingnuttia, after a day spent with people who think that George Bush is "cute" and that the Deep Throat was a scoundrel. I have watched Bill O'Reilly with people who don't laugh when he opens his mouth. I have stared at Fox News until I have prayed to go blind. This is the Other America.

So far my cover has not been broken, though some have the beginnings of a suspicion, probably because I couldn't help laughing at Dick Cheney's nutcracker jaws. The culturally sanctioned tradition here is awed silence and careful attention. I'm stretched to the limits of my divine ability to dissemble, but if I didn't have these few minutes of sanity in the attic I'd probably run down the local mainstream shooting anything that moves.

I'm not sure how often I can be in touch. I'm wearing a t-shirt with "God Bless America" stickers haphazardly scattered all over it, but will this be enough? If you hear no more from me do not worry: I am not an all-American blond girl which must mean that I will remain safe from all evildoers. Fox News tells me so. Until next time....