Friday, April 28, 2006

My Liberal Values

I promised one of my readers a serious article on what liberals stand for. This reader doesn't like me being a reactionary by just reacting to the latest outrage. An alternative must be presented, and no, defending the last shreds of the existing civilizations against the onslaughts of wingnut hordes isn't an acceptable explanation of what liberals stand for.

Sadly, I'm unable to stay serious today, so the serious post will be delayed a little. Instead, I will present to you:


Brawny Bob For Christ and Granola!

The liberal incarnation of the godly he-man from the wingnut science fiction reality!

The softer side of Echidne of the snakes!

Q: So what do you liberals and lefties stand for? Other than free limousine services for all welfare recipients and dildoes in every bedroom?

Bob: Me hairy! Me have balls! Me a real man! Me same like Christ! Me love Granola! Munch, munch. Me kick ass! Me love everybody! Me hate wingnuts!

Q: Are you saying that the Democratic Party is not the party of effeminate pussy-lickers?

Bob: Me love pussy! Me love cock! Me love hitting wingnuts! Smash, smash. Hear me hit!

Q: So what you are saying is that your liberal values combine loving and strength? That Granola is not just for effeminate wussies? That a real man could be a Democrat? Now, this is a new plan, a new dawn for the country.

Bob: Me speak good, yes? Like Bush. Me a man of the people. Good to have beer with. Now watch me lick me eyebrows.