Tuesday, August 22, 2006

The Cootie Awards

I have a great and cunning plan, which is to start giving awards for the most astonishing (in a negative sense) stories. Atrios has the wanker award, true, but we on this blog are nuanced and polite, so I thought a cootie award might be more suitable. More...ladylike.

There would be three classes of the award. The lowest level would just acknowledge the cootiness of a person, institution or story. The level of cootiness would seem fairly mild to most of us, used as we are to the new faith-based reality, but a serious internal examination would reveal the need for some sort of an award. Like this one:

Then there would be the second class award. This would require more than the basic award. In particular, a frizzon of disgust or fear or outrage should be provoked by anyone aspiring to this level of recognition:

My recent post on the Internal Revenue Service probably should have a Second Class Cootie With Pink Ribbons attached to it.

Finally, there is the real thing for the big hitters. We all know it when we meet something that deserves the granddaddy of all cooties:

And yes, I know that this is a louse.

What do you think of this idea? We could expand it into a voting process where my clever and snarky commenters could decide who gets which award. You could even award me one, though then I'd ban you from the blog.

Many thanks to all the resourceful people who found the pictures here. I forgot to write your names down but you can announce your names in the comments thread or just know deep in your hearts that without you the whole venture would have failed.