Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Please Welcome Erick Erickson!

CNN has hired another wingnut to comment on politics: Erick Erickson. Here's what the CNN blog says:

Under Erickson's leadership, RedState.com has become the preeminent right of center community online. Prior to leading RedState.com, Erickson practiced law for six years and managed a number of political campaigns, and he currently serves as a member of the Macon, Georgia, city council. He studied political science and history and earned a bachelor's degree at Mercer University in Macon. Erickson also earned his law degree from Mercer's Walter F. George School of Law.

"Erick's a perfect fit for John King, USA, because not only is he an agenda-setter whose words are closely watched in Washington, but as a person who still lives in small-town America, Erick is in touch with the very people John hopes to reach," said Sam Feist, CNN political director and vice president of Washington-based programming. "With Erick's exceptional knowledge of politics, as well as his role as a conservative opinion leader, he will add an important voice to CNN's ideologically diverse group of political contributors."

I'm rolling on the floor laughing and my tummy hurts. This is so utterly deliciously funny. Oh dear.

"He will add an important voice." Bwahaha. Do you think he will use that voice to call a retired Supreme Court Justice a goat-f***ing child molester? Or might he call for the audience to rise up (over a dish-washing detergent) and to beat some politicians to a bloody pulp?

Those are the kinds of things our Erick has said in public. He is the gift that keeps on giving. But I'm not sure why Steve Benen overlooked his utterances on feminists. I have to fix that problem so that you all know what CNN in turn overlooked when deciding on this "important voice (pardon while I giggle again).

Here are two of Erick's tweets after the Tebow Superbowl ad controversy:

Those might be slightly abbreviated, given this take on the tweets:

Erickson, who is preternaturally good-looking, tweeted during the Super Bowl, "That's it?!?! That's what the feminazis were enraged over? Seriously?!? Wow. That's what being too ugly to get a date does to your brain."

Oh, and you know what else? They should get back in the kitchen! Yeah! "Thus ends the credibility of all pro-abortion groups. Thanks Mrs. Tebow for that. Ugly feminists return to their kitchens."

The conservative blogger, clearly determined to wedge every cartoon anti-feminist smear from the 70s into a great illustration of why booze and social media don't mix, continued "That's not smog in Miami. It's bras burning from the sheer stupidity of the pro-abortion crowd's reaction to the Tebow ad."

What will all those crazy, ugly feminists do next, to occupy all the empty time not spent on dates? What they do best: castrate.

"Next the feminist groups will lash out at all the commercials praising manly men. They'll trot out Lorena Bobbit to spade/neuter your man."

So funny. (And no. He is not good-looking unless you fancy slabs of beef with two tiny raisin eyes.)

Let's recap: CNN has hired a commentator who thinks that feminists should get back into the kitchen, who thinks that feminists are too ugly to get dates, who thinks that feminists all have castration shears hanging from their belts (that's only me).

Because he is an important voice! Bwahaha.