Monday, July 05, 2010

This Gallagher Guy

I never heard of him. But Salon has a story about Leo Anthony Gallagher Jr. He's supposed to be a stand-up comedian from the 1980s. His humor is of the demanding kind: Mashing watermelons and playing with food on stage.

Mostly, though, his humor seems to be gay-and-lesbian bashing or something that would make xenophobics or racists chuckle.

I did notice that he is not an admirer of women, either, though he really has a hatred like a bad fruit salad: Most everyone is included, except for white heterosexual men:

Gallagher is upset about a lot of things. Young people with their sagging pants (in faintly coded racist terms, he explains that this is why the jails are overcrowded—because "their" baggy pants make it too hard for "them" to run from the cops). Tattoos: "That ink goes through to your soul—if you read your Bible, your body is a sacred temple, YOU DIPSHIT." People naming their girl-children Sam and Toni instead of acceptable names like Evelyn and Betty: "Just give her some little lesbian tendencies!" Guantánamo Bay: "We weren't even allowed to torture all the way. We had to half-torture—that's nothin' compared to what Saddam and his two sons OOFAY and GOOFAY did." Lesbians: "There's two types—the ugly ones and the pretty ones." (Um, like all people?) Obama again: "If Obama was really black, he'd act like a black guy and get a white wife." Michael Vick: "Poor Michael Vick." Women's lib: "These women told you they wanna be equal—they DON'T." Trans people: "People like Cher's daughter—figure that out. She wants a penis, but she has a big belly. If you can't see your dick, you don't get one." The Rice Krispies elves: "All three of those guys are gay. Look at 'em!" The Mexicans: "Look around—see any Mexicans? Nope. They'll be here later for the cleanup." The French: "They ruin our language with their faggy words."

Above all, everything is gay, gay, gay to Gallagher. He leans into it with the borderline-­nonsensical, icked-out, ignorant glee of a boy—or the protest-too-much vigor of a GOP senator. Gallagher delivers your Bible verse for the day: "Without God, we are nothing but dust. What is butt dust? Is that what you get if your homosexual isn't properly lubricated?" He relates a story about spilling mouthwash onto his crotch during a show: "Lucky for me, there was no homosexuals in the area—'cause my balls was minty fresh." At other points during the show, Gallagher says, "Men and women can't live in the same house" and "There's no way men and women can have a relationship." He says he can't remember why he used to feel pleasure in looking at a woman. And, "There's only one kind of homosexual guy, and that's the pretty ones—why do homosexual men have to be so good-looking?" Gallagher. Listen. Is there something you want to share with us?

I don't think that last quip was funny. Why on earth would gay guys want someone this hateful among their ranks? Not that us women want him either, and here's why:

* Bill and Hillary confuse America. Who has the cajones in that family? Since they're both politicians, I think they've made a deal and they each have one.
* A President Hillary would confuse state dinners too. After a meal, couples like to walk and talk. Usually the men talk and the women talk. But Hillary would need to talk to the man with power. That leaves Bill to talk to the wife and that's not smart for anybody.
* Well-known ana-wreck-sick Nicole Richie had to stop trying to breast feed her new baby when the poor little thing's cheeks collapsed and mamma' was treated for a hickie on her tittie.


* How does a slut feel? Whore-a-ble.

What is funny depends on the listener. These jokes might be funny for someone primed with the appropriate types of hatreds. How liberating to have them publicly released! How funny!

Humor based on anger can be funny, of course. But it needs to be smart to be that, and even then the quick stabs show who does not get stabbed, what group does not get ridiculed or laughed at and who the intended audience is.

This guy's intended audience consists of mostly older white male wingnuts. To pretend anything else is pointless and confusing and not at all funny.