Thursday, October 28, 2010

Utterly Hilarious Caveman Stories

Iowa Republican Steve King has linked the defense of "traditional" marriage (which isn't very traditional, of course) to the defense of "life" (which means only pre-birth life):

"I think that if we can't defend marriage, that it becomes very hard to defend life," King said. "Marriage is the crucible by which we pour all of our values and pass them on to our children, and that is how the culture is renewed each time. So, if we lose marriage — for instance, if our children are raised in warehouses, so to speak. There have been civilizations that have tried to do that. The Spartans did that. They took the children away and taught them to be warriors. It's a good way to defend a country, but not much of a way to run a civilization.

"So, I'm afraid if that happened — if we lose the marriage, we lose the home, we lose the nuclear family then we can't teach our values. We won't be able to teach our faith. We won't be able to teach life. We won't be able to teach our Constitutional values either. That's why I'm afraid it's going to be very, very difficult to defend life."
I'm not sure how he plans to lose marriage. Has he looked under the sofa cushions? But neither am I at all sure that he has had much to do with that instillation of values in the "traditional" marriage. That's other people's job in the kind of world he inhabits.

Still, it's always funny when people make their arguments based on absurdities: Either we have the "traditional" marriage or children are warehoused.

But that's not the utterly hilarious bit. It's this comment by some guy who doesn't like gays and lesbians and who has deeply delved into the field of Evo-Psycho:

Randy Crawford of Iowa City said he intends to vote for the removal of the justices because he is concerned about the judiciary overstepping its reach and also about the propensity of homosexuals within his community.

"My primary reason for being here is because I believe the Supreme Court should not be legislating from the bench. But I also believe that homosexuality is bad thing," he said. "It used to be useful when we were cavemen and we needed people to guard the caves full of women and children. If I'm a guy out hunting, I want to leave someone back at the cave tending to my wife and kids, and I don't want a normal guy having that kind of access to my wife and kids. So, in our evolution, you can see that there use to be a utility for homosexuality, but that was when we were cavemen and we aren't cavemen anymore. So, homosexuality is obsolete."
The caves full of women and children while the cavemen go out hunting! That doesn't sound like any hunter-gatherer society I've ever read about. But it's truly funny.

Though of course his silly theory doesn't explain lesbians...