Saturday, November 09, 2013

Your Hair Should Be Looooong. On Judging Fu***bility

This Jezebel post  made me think about something a little bit wider and more serious.  First, here's the relevant quote from the post:

Regarding Jennifer Lawrence's new pixie cut, some pseudonymous goofball from writes:
If you have any female interaction on social media, whatsoever, you may also have seen Jennifer Lawrence's new 'do. Though every chick on the planet begs "Can we just be best friends? Why is she perfect?", you'd only bang her if she lost ten pounds. Now, shedding some lbs. might not even do it. Lawrence didn't go full-on pixie short, but the results are equally disastrous.
Should have cut her dessert instead.
Jezebel then talks about the short hair requirement (as in Must Be Sexy With Long Hair).  That links to something I noticed again recently:  Both men and women on the net seem to feel free to comment on women's bodies, pretty much nonstop.  Most of the comments are negative, except for the "I'd do it" or "I'd bang it" comments by mostly guys, I presume (which I have even spotted in various other languages in YouTube comments.).

When I first came across those "I'd do her" comments I thought the commenter was a teenager.  But time and experience taught me otherwise. 

Now I think that what's going on are two things.  First, women's bodies are seen as fair game for judging, by both men and women.  Men's bodies?  Some, but the level is much lower (and tends to center on shaming politicians and a few media stars.)

Second, the right to judge breasts, hips, legs, weight and general fuckability looks like a (Hetero?) Guy Entitlement, something at least some men don't mind expressing on the net.  What's weird about that is its obliviousness to others who read the comment.  The net is not a locker room.  Then there's the whole question why anyone should care about the information.  Whom someone would bang is irrelevant, the person to be banged wasn't asked, and  the whole scene happens only inside some skull.

Why that need to share?  Not sure, but it might be a way of showing power: " Here I am, and I am the judge.  The topic will be big boobs and what they do to me, and I don't care if half of the audience is boobed."  So I think it's probably a feeling of entitlement.  Could be completely subconscious, but still something I never do.

Why don't I do it?  Say, about hetero men?  The reasons are mostly obvious, what with objectification and the dangers of turning some things upside down.  But the main reason is that the culture has given me no such right.  I have to focus on what I would say. 

I know this because I have used reversals a few time, to make a point.  The usual outcome is that the body discussions stop.  Which suggests to me that what's sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander, in both directions.

And no, it's not because I came across completely prudish and moralizing.  I flipped the thing around, with humor and such.

This topic isn't terribly important, but it's an interesting aspect of the way gender affects some aspects of the net.